Permission To Release The Pressure
Someone once told me the world will grab you by the wrist, telling you to do this, have that, be this, etc. And if you’re not paying attention it will drain your energy, time and resources. I was reminded of this time and time again when taking care of loved ones, being a good student, working hard at my job and putting my needs last. It wasn’t until I crashed and burned that I learned that the hamster wheel of life will not slow down or stop until I say so. I learned that I have to own my choices and make decisions that put me at the center. Not in a selfish way, quite the opposite actually.
When we are well rested and our nervous system is resourced we are able to show up more powerfully and lovingly for our friends, family, co-workers and community.
I come from a long line of matriarchal martyrs who quite honestly at that time in history didn’t have the awareness, support, time or resources to pour into their health and mental wellbeing. As women we are socialized and it's reinforced throughout our lives to give to others, which is beautiful, and yet dangerous if validation and love are only received through these acts. What often is missing is the reinforcement and learning how to love ourselves and how to soothe ourselves in a healthy way. It’s crucial to prioritize ourselves and know that our desires are worthy and important to pursue.
We have been socialized to accept the message that women can have it all. Which is actually a lie that marketing and capitalism sells us that keeps us plugged into a system of producing, consuming and adding to the pressure to perform. The truth is there will always be costs and trade offs to life decisions. We have to do the work to decide what matters most to us and make those investments. There will never be the “right” time for anything. We have to make the time to pursue our passions, motherhood, a career pivot, education, a new relationship, and the list goes on. As we move through life’s journey there will be moments that you didn’t plan for that will knock us off our center- the loss of a job, the death of a loved one, navigating a health challenge, supporting aging parents, etc.
It’s impossible to escape the pressures of life. We have to remember that we have the choice to respond to the challenges that arise and how we take care of ourselves along the way.
I often think about how young women are always watching what we do and don’t do, and what we say and don’t say. Speaking from my experience of being an overly curious, observant and aware little girl. Our daughters, nieces, cousins, friends and other women take notice of all this. In a way, we teach each other what is acceptable and tolerated and from there patterns, actions, thoughts and behaviors become formed. I feel a subtle shift where women are opening up to one another, being candid, sharing about where they are struggling and where they can use support. Community is a powerful connection that acts as a biological and emotional pressure release valve. Interacting with trusted peers signals safety to your nervous system.
The most potent acts to release stress don’t have to be grand acts that require a lot of time, money or equipment. It’s the small doses throughout the day, the small rituals you commit to that sustain and support you to exhale deeper and release tension. If you’re reading this I grant you permission to release the pressure in tiny moments. Permission to make decisions that nourish you. Permission to protect your energy and set boundaries, afterall, no is a complete sentence. Here are a few ideas to experiment with ~
Movement as Play | Include a playful movement purely for emotional release into your day. Try dancing in the kitchen, stretching on the floor for ten minutes, swimming slowly with no workout plan, skipping around the yard, or doing some jumping jacks.
Silent Commute | Give your ears a break, let your mind rest and nervous system settle. If you mind starts flooding with to-do’s choose a silent activity like noticing how many red cars are on the road or another creative way to notice your surroundings.
Respond at Your Own Pace| Not every text, email, or request needs an immediate response. Creating response space reduces emotional pressure and gives you room to reflect more thoughtfully. Being quick to respond keeps you trapped in a loop and reinforces others expectations of getting your immediate attention.
Eat One Meal Without Multitasking | No scrolling, answering emails, or standing at the counter. Just sitting down for 15 minutes can feel surprisingly grounding. Take pleasure in noticing the variety of colors and textures of the food, or in setting the space.
I’d love to hear which of the above ideas you experiment with and your experience is! Wishing you a wonderful week ahead.
Take really good care ~ Landra