Surrender: Struggle or Strength?
Why is the act of surrendering so hard? Is it our aversions to the discomfort of life's challenges, difficult choices, and hard conversations? Or is it all the uncomfortable feelings and experiences that we want to skip over, speed past and get to the good part or a comfortable place? Perhaps it's the value we place on comfort in what we know, what feels safe and familiar that we are attached to. In valuing comfort we don’t know how to release our grasp on our attachments or how to embrace uncertainty.
Then I got to thinking: is surrendering to the unknown the hard price that those of us pay for choosing to live off the beaten path?
In my experience I found that making big bold choices like moving to a foreign country far away from decades of familiarity and comfort and away from societal norms will require you to surrender often. And yet what I find funny is that in my circumstance I still wrestle with the act of surrendering and want to push through the messy middle. Through weeks of contemplation on this topic I’ve come to believe that everyone at different points in life will face trials and tribulations that encourage them or sometimes demand that they surrender.
I’ve come to realize that a key lesson that surrendering teaches us is how to live in the in between, how to maneuver through the mess. I’ve been caught in over using my strength of positivity to push through discomfort admittedly for too long. It showed when a minor setback broke the internal emotional wall that released a dam of tears accompanied by uncontrollable sobs. In that moment I experienced a forced release of surrendering to what is. Life lately has been a lot of disappointing stops & pauses after enthusiastic starts. Is it the grief, peri-menopause, the state of the world? The answer is yes, yes, yes and I’m quite sure more that I’ve yet to uncover.
The act of embracing the process of surrender allows us to awaken to new perspectives. At times it can feel like letting go of all we know will break us, but consider if it is actually beckoning us outside our comfort zones, testing our boundaries, leading us to dig deeper, learn lessons and live with more intention. Surrender teaches us resilience and that we can move through what feels like the impossible.
Under surrender lies faith, trust and belief within things that cannot be seen, or easily checked off a list. Surrendering is asking me to shift my mindset and how I navigate my way through life. After decades of working hard, pushing through, planning, organizing and achieving life is asking me to slow down, return to my intuition, take cues from my body, be more thoughtful with my energy, and enhance the clarity of my focus. It’s a continual devotion to the unseen, emotionally letting go, and the realization of accepting that I am not in control. No amount of ‘doing’ can get any of us past the discomfort.
Surrender has been teaching me to meet the moment, not to overly plan, ahem I mean try to control future outcomes. In fact I’ve come to accept it's a season to feel and heal.
Consider this, what if surrendering is a portal towards a greater perspective? Or an invite to reorient towards the power of our own intuition and inner knowing? Maybe the act of surrendering can lead us towards noticing the extraordinary in the ordinary. It’s hard for me to put into words, but it does feel like a moment where we are the ones who can re-imagine what’s possible for ourselves, our loved ones, organizations and communities. Especially at a time in the world where systems are changing, breaking and rearranging. And it begins with examining our relationship to surrendering, reframing our mindsets, releasing old patterns, and embracing new ways of moving through challenges.
Sharing a few reflection questions for you to consider this week ~
What is my relationship to surrendering?
What lessons can I learn or have I learned from the practice of surrendering?
Is there anything that I need to surrender to now?
Wishing you a wonderful week ahead. Take really good care ~ Landra